What’s next?

This year has looked vastly different than I could have ever imagined. I said “Yes” to a lot of unknowns and risked far more than I ever have in my life. There were moments where I could not ignore the Lord’s goodness and there were moments where I felt like a shattered mess that could never be repaired. Countless lessons were learned; some in the form of failure and other’s through the gracious words of people I love dearly. It’s been a year of trusting blindly, trying new things out, and never knowing what was coming next.

 

 

It all started when I said “Yes” to leading a three month mission trip to the nation that I had already fallen in love with years ago, Swaziland.  I said “Yes” because I did have a desire to lead but at the same time I had not a clue what I getting myself into. I was excited, terrified , and not sure if I was really ready for what was to come. But nonetheless, I risked and walked into the unknown. 

When I arrived at training camp it was confirmed that I had zero idea what I was doing and I felt like I was in way over my head. You can ask my co-leaders about the oh-so vulnerable moment I had with them when I had an emotional break down because I didn’t know everyone’s name on the team after meeting them two days prior. Lots of tears and irrational thinking on my end but they responded with buckets of love and empathy. I think that was the moment I was sold on the fact that I was blessed with the best co-leaders on the planet. Hands down, no argument there.

While leading in Swaziland I messed up, succeeded, and gained a family that has made a huge impact on my life. 

When my trip in Swaziland was nearing the end I was asked to consider leading a two month trip over the summer to Thailand. As I prayed, I felt an overwhelming “Yes” from the Lord. But saying “Yes” to Thailand meant saying “No” to going to one of my best friend’s weddings. I was heart-broken and completely taken off guard that I was going to have to make this sacrifice. Ellie has made a significant impact not just on my life but with my walk with The Lord. She has challenged me through her endless grace and has always been Jesus in the flesh to me. But I knew where The Lord was leading me, and that was to Thailand.

Being in Thailand my heart was captivated by another group of people that I consider family and learned 1,000 more lessons.  I was challenged with the reality that I need to extend grace to EVERYONE. This was learned through the countless nights where I saw men purchasing women but still reflecting on the fact that Jesus loves them and came to save them just like He did for me, you, the lovable orphans, and the sweet widows.

And then came Ecuador, which I left for shortly after getting home from Thailand. After leading another team in an unknown place for three months I am overjoyed to say that I have fallen in love all over again. Who knew one person could have so many families?

But I have not only fallen in love with my new families, new nations, and a way of living but I have fallen in love with Jesus 10,000 times more than any of those other things.

This year has been the best yet.

But another season is coming to an end which means a new one is about to begin. So the question is…what does this new season consist of?

It’s not leading another trip.

It’s not living at home.

It’s not falling down a rabbit hole with Alice (oh how I wish I could do that, though).

I’ve decided to CGA with Adventures in Missions. I am more than thrilled to be a part of this because I will be working behind the scenes and getting hands on experience in the office of a non-profit missions organization. While I am there I will also be in the worship track which is where I will learn worship as a lifestyle and how to usher people into the presence of God in a variety of ways; musical worship, creative processing, prayer, intercessions, prophecy, etc. While doing the worship track I will learn what it means to steward the heart of God in my everyday life as well as in any organization or circle of people I influence. I will have the opportunity to discover how different aspects of worship fit in the body of Christ and how to be confident in my own giftings. This will be a time of intentional community, discipleship, and an apprenticeship.

I am walking into another unknown and I have no idea what to expect. But God’s faithfulness never ceased when I said “Yes” to the unknown before so I’m willing to take that chance again.

But there is something so beautiful that I have learned through this year of up’s, down’s, and unknown’s; and that is the beauty of living in community with my brothers and sisters in Christ. But when I say “community” I don’t mean bunking up with other believers in a two room house on a mission trip. No, I mean living in community with every believer.  It’s living in full confidence that I will ALWAYS have a family that will love and encourage me when life is looking a little tougher than usual. It’s knowing that I am not alone when I am crying out for the girls in Thailand, the orphans in Swaziland, and the deceived in Ecuador. Quite frankly, it’s a relieving feeling. I would hate to think and believe that I was fighting alone, that I was the only one broken in times of tragedy. I’m thankful that I have a community that will build me up when I am down and will call me to be more like Jesus when I’m letting my flesh get the best of me.

So, as I am walking into this new season filled with unknowns, trials, and I am sure another family; I am challenged to trust the Lord with how I am financially going to get to this next season.  I have to fundraise $3,950 in order to be a part of CGA. I’m asking that you would intentionally pray about joining me on this journey.  I am more than confident that The Lord will provide financially for this new unknown that He is having me walk into. So, whether you feel called to give yourself, share this blog, or pray for financial supporters I would love and appreciate ALL of that.

I know without a doubt in my mind that I am blessed beyond measure simply because of the grace that God has shown me throughout this year and my entire life. He has never once left my side through all of the chaotic yet beautiful moments and I know that this pattern will continue into the next season and all that follow. Jesus is a constant God, He is never-changing. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. This is a reality that I know not just because it was drilled into my brain in Sunday school but because I have seen my gracious Creator demonstrate this day after day in my life. And that’s what makes walking into the unknowns something worth cha