Swaziland: It’s the place I dream of most and where my heart is longing to be.
My heart was first captured in 2012 but since then I haven’t been able to extinguish the fiery passion I have for this nation.
It is a love that I often cannot describe because it is not of this world. I believe that there are somethings in this world that The Lord gives us His heart and eyes for.
Swaziland is one of those places for me.
No matter the sorrows or pain that this nation endures my soul still clings to the hope of The Lord for them.
But the reality is that I am not in Swaziland…I’m in Gainesville, Georgia. And it saddens me greatly everyday that I cannot be in the place that I so desperately want to be.
But The lord is ALWAYS faithful and good. And right now I am learning that it is okay for my heart to long for Swaziland. It’s actually a good thing. Because like I said before, this isn’t a love from this Earth. I believe it is a love that I have gained through God giving me the compassion, brokenness, and eyes for this nation. Therefore if it is a love like God’s love than it can’t be denied or dimmed according to the circumstance. It can’t be masked by things of this world. No, it is a love that seeps out of my being even when I am not trying.
It’s a hard reality to face that my time of return to Swaziland is unknown but I’m trusting the Lord. He is good. Always, always good.
But it still sucks sometimes.
So, for now I will just wait but be present. I can still love and long for Swaziland but while I am where I am I also need to focus on the purpose that The Lord has for me while I am in this place. And it is honestly so freeing realizing that I need to also be present. It takes the focus off me and puts it on Jesus because although I have a great love for Swaziland, I am not needed there. The Lord doesn’t need me to share The Gospel with everyone there and He doesn’t need me to solve all of their problems. Because even if I was there I wouldn’t be able to accomplish either of those. That’s a little impossible and if that was my goal it would be a bit prideful thinking that I was the one capturing their hearts and shifting the way they approach life.
Jesus does that. Always. Never ever humans.
And I am just human.
So, like many humans I am going to live life where I am now. It’s difficult at times but worth it because I don’t want to live a life spent dreaming but rather living a life where I fulfill many dreams, big and small, no matter where I am.
